Acclaimed filmmaker Lilly Wachowski has finally revealed why she decided not to take part in the upcoming fourth installment of her popular Matrix franchise. During the Television Critics Association Summer Tour virtual panel for her Showtime television show, Work in Progress, last week, she delved into the reasons why she moved on from the hit, Oscar-winning sci-fi-action film series.

“[Lana] had come up with this idea for another Matrix movie, and we had this talk, and it was actually — we started talking about it in between [our] dad dying and [our] mom dying, which was like five weeks apart,” Lilly said. “And there was something about the idea of going backward and being a part of something that I had done before that was expressly unappealing.

“I didn’t want to have gone through my transition and gone through this massive upheaval in my life, the sense of loss from my mom and dad, to want to go back to something that I had done before, and sort of [walk] over old paths that I had walked in, felt emotionally unfulfilling, and really the opposite — like I was going to go back and live in these old shoes, in a way. And I didn’t want to do that,” Lilly also revealed.

For Lilly, working on Work in Progress, a comedy that follows the life of actress Abby McEnany’s character of Abby, a 46-year-old who suffers from depression, seemed like the place she needed to be. “It felt like a new thing that I could go do and be myself in, more than go back and do the same thing that I sort of did before,” Lilly divulged during the panel. “Lana made [The Matrix: Resurrections] for different reasons… I can’t speak for her, but that’s what I was feeling at the time.”