The sound of waves crashing on the sand, the seagulls squeaking overhead, and a young man’s voice introduce us to If I Go Will They Miss Me. The feature is an expansion of the 2022 eponymous short film, and it had its world premiere at the 2026 Sundance Film Festival.
Film director Walter Thompson-Hernandez takes us to the Watts neighbourhood of Los Angeles, to meet the twelve-year-old Anthony Harris Jr, Lil Ant (Bodhi Dell) and his father Anthony Harris Sr, Big Ant (J. Alphonse Nicholson). This is where — beneath airplanes passing overhead and amidst Greek myths that allegorically embody our story — a complex father-son relationship unfolds.
Family, fallibility, unbounded love connect the grittiness of life with the cathartic power of the imagination. The sense of wonder of a young human discovering the world collides with the sense of guilt and responsibility of an older human who feels he has failed his duties. Race, faith, grace, are the ingredients to the coming-of-age story that intertwines with the coming to terms tale. Pain, remorse, atonement, navigate through a journey of healing supported by the spirit of community and a profound understanding of the human complexity.
If I Go Will They Miss Me conveys the importance of gaining perspective through hindsight: once the stumbles and errors have been fulfilled and overcome, one may shine a wiser light on affairs. Growing up is not a task that is bestowed on children alone, we never cease to grow until we breathe upon this planet, and Big Ant is the character who personifies this path to wisdom even more so than Lil Ant, who is just starting to move his first steps within the realm of experiencing how life works.
The tension between innocence and knowledge is the driving force of the film, that has a sprinkle of magical realism within its raw storytelling and is paced by a magnificently meditative music score by Malcolm Parson, supervised by Francesca Harding. Bodhi Dell, nonchalantly channels the lightness of youth, projecting onto Lil Ant the sense of awe and surprise, as he transforms in something mythical what happens around him. J. Alphonse Nicholson provides a readjusted childhood perspective with the lessons learnt while growing up.
Thus, his character of Big Ant encapsulates a newfound awareness of what his son is traversing. Being of colour in an environment characterised by crime, violence, and gangs can lead astray, but humour, tenderness and the capacity to dream can act as an antidote. Just like Poseidon’s emotional turbulence represents the idea that someone capable of causing harm not necessarily is beyond transformation — that is ultimately granted by Pegasus’ ability to take flight and rise above hardships. The title of the film beautifully sums up the existential question revolving around the sense of belonging, especially how emancipation affects family ties.
Hence, If I Go Will They Miss Me etches on film reel redemption through the child’s gaze and through the grace we offer the people we love.
Final Grade: B-
Photos credits: Michael Fernandez