Sundance Film Festival: ‘The Dating Game’ is an Amusing Look at Romance in China That’s Best When It Gets Serious

Sundance Film Festival: ‘The Dating Game’ is an Amusing Look at Romance in China That’s Best When It Gets Serious
A still from The Dating Game by Violet Du Feng, an official selection of the 2025 Sundance Film Festival. Courtesy of Sundance Institute | photo by Wei Gao

It’s not always easy to find a partner, but there can be exacerbating circumstances that make it even more difficult. As a result of China’s one child’s policy, which was ended a decade ago, there are 30 million more men than women. Those odds aren’t great even for the most socially well-adjusted individuals with unlimited resources. The Dating Game checks in on three men facing one hell on an uphill battle and the person who thinks he’s clever and capable enough to help them find true love – or at least any woman who might agree to marry them.

Hao works as a dating coach, guiding men who think they have no shot when it comes to finding a woman to date and marry, and they’re usually right. Rather than encourage them to show the best parts of themselves, he instead tells them that they should embellish any traits they do have that could be seen as appealing and make up others to attract the right women. In some cases, that involves over-the-top photo shoot sessions, and also finds Hao standing in a crowded plaza as his clients walk up to random women asking to add them on WeChat, a popular Chinese social media app. Unsurprisingly, that tactic doesn’t tend to work very well.

This film, from director Violet Du Feng, whose previous feature, Hidden Letters, was shortlisted for the Best Documentary Feature Oscar in 2022, spotlights a very small sample size in a sea of millions and millions of people. This film is considerably less serious than her last film, highlighting the humor to be found in the lengths these men are wiling to go to in order to find a partner. There are a few moments of dramatic pause, like when one man recounts growing up in a rural area and finding young female babies abandoned by parents who were evidently seeking to have their old child be a male, just one of the disturbing remnants of a national policy that has forever transformed the makeup of their country.

While this film’s spotlight of three hopeful dreamers without much game is both humorous and occasionally heartfelt, this film finds its real footing midway through when it introduces Hao’s wife Wen. He explains that she used to be skinnier when they met, and it turns out that she is also a dating coach. Her advice, however, as she puts it, focuses on self-improvement rather than outright deception, and the contradictory nature of their approaches is mostly deeply felt when they begin to argue in front of the camera. She eviscerates him, telling him that he always has to be right but that if he can’t understand where she’s coming from, he’s never going to understand women. It’s a stunning moment of sincere conflict that adds an entirely new context for this otherwise mostly light story.

From that moment, the film doesn’t inherently shift its outlook or focus, adding other factors of Chinese culture like a virtual reality game that attracts millions of users and allows them to create relationships with those they’ve never met and may never meet in the flesh. There are also government-sponsored dating events designed to help couple people off and improve an-ever shrinking birth rate. There still feels like much more to learn at the conclusion of this film, which probes interesting concepts and dynamics but doesn’t always entirely follow them through to an eye-opening destination. Just like Hao’s strategy, it’s hard to know whether things will actually end up turning out productively, and this documentary opens an intriguing window into this wild world that looks so much different from many Western countries and leaves the door open for more questions and further exploration. 

Grade: B

Check out more of Abe Friedtanzer’s articles.

The Dating Game makes its world premiere in the World Cinema Documentary Competition at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival. 

Meet the Artist 2025: Violet Du Feng on “The Dating Game”

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